Currently I have an empty mind. I think of things then I prevent
myself from going too deep on the matter. Then I think of another one and same
thing happens.
I see the news of the acid attack, I feel sad now I surely want
to stand up against it. But is the dress really blue and black or white and
gold? I have already changed my mind. I really don’t know what is wrong with me
or maybe everyone feels the same.
But my mind is so empty. Now as I type I will not bother to re
read the lines again because if I do I will not even remember writing them
. I have not being doing drugs . may be I'm getting old or crazy.
There are so many things to worry about and I want be indulged
in it but I see no perfect option for me. Then again I think lets be selfish
and enjoy the life carefree and still I cannot do than too. I am surely
losing my mind over it.
I want to find a job , maybe that will help me focus a bit on
something. But what job? Where? I feel ashamed of asking my parents for
money every time, but there is no other options. If I ask them for
permission to do a job they will say NO for sure.
They say no a lot , ‘can I join politics? And go to the
rallies?’ “NO”, ‘can I work out somewhere, I sit idly at home all day after
college’ “NO”,
They surely say NO a lot maybe it because they are afraid that I
might be unsafe , that I be thrown acid on me, or kidnapped or abused.
My mind is so empty, I sit idly staring at the internet all day
and worrying if the dress is blue or whatever. I know many things and yet I
know nothing. I have stopping competing with the world nowadays, I have never
started listening to Ed Sheeran , and moved back to the Beatles. The
fancy new boy band doesn't impress me now, I like Pantera better.
I am twenty years old. A youth. Instead of indulging
myself in some work. I have an empty mind. I have no idea about what am I
typing now. And I am having a serious identity crisis.
